How Would I Make A Web Page Print Exactly The Same Across All Browsers/printers?

Ok, so I'm pretty sure this isn't even possible, but I have a friend whose client is basically begging him for an answer on this so I told him I'd get some input from the friendly

Solution 1:

Render everything to an image (since you said no PDF)?

In all reality, this is an unreasonable request. You can create styles for different mediums, and handle browser differences with CSS resets and javascript, but you will always have different screen resolutions or screen types (eInk kindles come to mind) and printers with different inks or different types of printers.